Dear Self,

I’m going to be building this up over time to learn from myself. I also feel that everyone can learn from these. I'm here to help.

1. Stop singing. Then drink water.

2. Do not buy kites because they are sweet and on clearance. Not everyone knows how to assemble a forty-piece Star Wars kite. Also, a sweet kite does not always make for a kite that flies.

3. Next time there’s a spider, throw your binder at it instead of your laptop.

4. Don’t treat people the way you want to be treated. Treat them the way they deserve to be treated. You’re entitled to be a total douche to a person that’s also a total douche.

5.